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Shopping as a leisure activity is an issue that araises an endless debates. There are, therefore, many arguments about positive and negative effects, In this essay I am writing to about the reasons of shopping's popularity and the effects on individuals and on society.

To begin with, shopping is regarded as a kind of leisure actinties such as sports, reading books and watching movies. Sometimes shopping makes a person feel relexed, it is especially true for people who have a lot of money. Most of all many shopper feel proxy satisfaction when they have the right to choose something.

Of course the effects of its popularity depend on individuals and society. But there are a number of effects on individual and society in general. Over consumption is a major problem. The excessive preference of shopping might result in over consuming. And abnormal consumption lead to a violence of nature. To satisfy consumers' need, a lot of companies have to exploit the nature.

The excessive consumption beyond normal shopping is responsible for social tension and class divisions. Because many person who can not affort to buy life commodities might feel anti-society attitude.

From the above we considered two issues. These are very important issues because shopping is an inevitable part of our life. In the future I can hope that shoppers have to consider the influence on the other persons, the nature and society. And the government educate the general public do sound consumption.

words: 243

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Score & Suggestions

1. Total Score: 6.5

Task Response: 9
Coherence and Cohesion: 6
Lexical Resource: 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

1. Strengths and How to Maintain Them:

✅ The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for shopping's popularity and its effects on individuals and society.
✅ Your position is clear and well-developed, directly answering the question.
✅ You provide relevant ideas and support them with examples.

2. Top Areas for Improvement: (with Tailored Learning Materials and Examples)

Area 1: Cohesion and Clarity
- ✍️ Suggestion: Pay attention to the cohesion of your essay. Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one sentence to another and from one paragraph to another. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas.
- Example: Instead of saying "In this essay I am writing to about," you can say "In this essay, I will discuss" or "This essay will explore."
Area 2: Topic Organization
- ✍️ Suggestion: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the focus remains consistent throughout the paragraph. Avoid shifting topics within a paragraph.
- Example: In the second paragraph, the focus shifts from shopping as a leisure activity to the satisfaction of shoppers. It would be clearer to separate these ideas into separate paragraphs.
Area 3: Grammar and Punctuation
- ✍️ Suggestion: Review your grammar and punctuation to improve accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.
- Example: Instead of saying "the excessive preference of shopping might result in over consuming," you can say "excessive shopping preferences might result in overconsumption."

3. Summary: Keep up the good work and focus on improving cohesion, topic organization, and grammar. You have a strong understanding of the topic and provide relevant ideas. Good luck! 😊

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Trusted evaluation

Accuracy and reliability are crucial for IELTS essay evaluations. Our AI system has undergone rigorous testing to align with IELTS band criteria, providing you with dependable results.

We conducted a benchmarking exercise comparing our tool to official IELTS grades. For this purpose, we utilized a range of sample essays from bands 4 to 9, which are available on the ielts.org website.

We evaluated each essay using UpScore.ai and compared the results to the evaluations provided by professional examiners from IELTS, which were included alongside the sample essays. The AI tool demonstrates a solid level of precision and accuracy.

In this sample of five essays, ranging from band 4 to 8.5, UpScore.ai's grading was either on par with or within a 1.5 band difference from the official score. In the majority of cases (60%), the AI score varied from the official score by no more than 0.5 band.

This underlines the tool's reliability in providing valuable and near-accurate feedback for IELTS preparation.