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Some would say that parents should teach their offspring how to be good members of society, while others are of the opinion that school is the best in this regard. This essay agrees with the latter point and will show that, despite the practical experiences that parents give their children, school lessons can give deep insights into what it takes to be good citizens.

Some believe that parents can educate their children about being good members of society based on their life experiences. This is because the life experiences that parents can give their children are straightforward, down-to-earth, and so they can easily apply what their parents teach them in reality. For example, many children in Thailand become more polite, honest, and caring to everyone as a direct result of the practical lessons that their parents give them at home. However, I believe that parents now are so busy and do not spend much time with their children teaching them.

Lessons at school can provide children with valuable insights into being good members of society. In class, students can receive lessons about different traits of a truly good person that society needs, and then they put what they learn into practice by creating real-life problems and solving them together. For instance, after receiving lessons in civic education at school, many Vietnamese students are more willing to help their neighbors and even strangers, and they feel extremely happy after doing something good for others. For this reason, I believe that school lessons are more influential to young children.

In conclusion, despite the practical experiences that parents can give their children at home, this essay believes that school lessons can help students deepen their understanding of being good members of society.

words: 289

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Score & Suggestions

1. Total Score: 8

Task Response: 8
Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Lexical Resource: 8
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

1. Strengths and How to Maintain Them:

✅ The essay effectively addresses the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.
✅ The position is well-developed and directly answers the question.
✅ The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate and accurate use of words.
✅ The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures, with few errors.

2. Top Areas for Improvement: (with Tailored Learning Materials and Examples)

Area 1: Coherence and Cohesion
- ✍️ Suggestion: Improve the use of reference and substitution to enhance clarity and coherence. Make sure that sentences are fluently linked to each other.
- Example: Instead of saying "this regard," you can use "the aspect of teaching children to be good members of society." This provides more clarity and avoids repetition.
Area 2: Coherence and Cohesion
- ✍️ Suggestion: Pay attention to the flow of ideas and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. This will help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
- Example: In the second body paragraph, you can start a new paragraph when discussing the lessons at school and their impact on Vietnamese students. This will create a clearer structure and improve coherence.
Area 3: Lexical Resource
- ✍️ Suggestion: Continue to expand your vocabulary by learning and using more topic-specific words and phrases. This will enhance the richness and precision of your writing.
- Example: Instead of using "good person," you can use "upstanding individual" or "exemplary citizen" to add variety and sophistication to your vocabulary.

3. Summary: Keep up the good work and focus on enhancing coherence and expanding vocabulary. You're on the right track! 😊

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Trusted evaluation

Accuracy and reliability are crucial for IELTS essay evaluations. Our AI system has undergone rigorous testing to align with IELTS band criteria, providing you with dependable results.

We conducted a benchmarking exercise comparing our tool to official IELTS grades. For this purpose, we utilized a range of sample essays from bands 4 to 9, which are available on the ielts.org website.

We evaluated each essay using UpScore.ai and compared the results to the evaluations provided by professional examiners from IELTS, which were included alongside the sample essays. The AI tool demonstrates a solid level of precision and accuracy.

In this sample of five essays, ranging from band 4 to 8.5, UpScore.ai's grading was either on par with or within a 1.5 band difference from the official score. In the majority of cases (60%), the AI score varied from the official score by no more than 0.5 band.

This underlines the tool's reliability in providing valuable and near-accurate feedback for IELTS preparation.